When did I get so indifferent to the miracles recorded in Your Word? When did this familiarity with the stories cull the faith they should inspire? Ignite that fire within me again. Open my heart and mind to what You are teaching me in this season. Sickness and tiredness have robbed me too often by numbing me to everything going on around, including Your voice. I refuse to sink into that same pit again. I deeply desire a more intimate relationship with You. I feel a holy discontent with where I am at in my faith walk. I thank You for the progress I have made though. Imperfect progress. I sense a shifting deep within, where the current wrestles with You over issues seem to be coming to an end. I don’t have the words or cognitive awareness of exactly what those wrestles have been about but You know. You are in control. I trust that You are good and are faithful to complete the good work that You have begun in me. You may not be “safe” in the way my flesh would want but I trust You. Your ways are higher than my ways. Your thoughts are higher than my thoughts.
You are bringing me to a place where uncertainty is more ok with me. I am slowly letting go of my need to control, millimetre by millimetre. I don’t know what You are planning for me but trust that You will guide me each step of the way. I realise now that it is not about the what or where but about my heart and my connection with you. Am I where I need to be? Is there an opportunity I’m missing? Speak, Lord, for Your servant is listening.
Jesus, flood every aspect of my life. If there are rocks blocking deeper growth of my faith, even good things, show me. My mind is screaming at me with wanting to hang on to it all but I want You to be truly number one in my life. Whatever You want for me to let go, reveal that to me. Strengthen me to obey. It is only by Your Spirit that I can be transformed. My efforts are futile without You.
Be in my parenting, my marriage, my work, my rest this week.
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.