Life-giving investment in friendship

You know how Facebook throws up those friendship anniversaries? I noticed a trend in mine. Those friends that I actually feel closest to in real life have the least amount of evidence of friendship online. We don’t tend to take many photos together. I don’t think to pick up my phone and document the moments with them. I both love this and am disappointed by it. I love that I am able to be relaxed and present with them (not an easy feat for my mind often.) I love that we are too caught up in simply being together. I would also love to have more of those moments captured at times too.


In a world that blurs the lines between what is real and what is not, it can be difficult to zone in on real friendships. It can be difficult to make memories without feeling pressured to share them with the world. Watching others’ lives through the filter of social media can leave us feeling disconnected, less than and missing out (or maybe that’s just me?). We get a snapshot of a friendship online and forget the effort it takes to maintain that in real life.


I realised last year that I was not investing in my friendships. I could offer a myriad of excuses of busy lives, personality and seasons but the truth simply was I was not giving priority to them. I have sought to change that with a small group of friends. To be honest, this has been a struggle for me as I am one who wants to include everybody and never want anyone to feel excluded. I have had to learn to accept that I cannot possibly form deep friendships with a huge group. I have had to learn that the cost of trying to do that would be shallow connections and an overwhelmed heart and mind.

Meeting with this group regularly has been so life-giving. Whether we are seated around a table or around picnic blankets, these times of sharing a meal, meeting without huge expectations and simply being together has been a part of my life that I have been missing. Recognising this need in my life was prompted in part by Sacred Rest by Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith in which she talks about the various types of rest we need, including social rest. I am trying to bring more full rest and recharging into my life.

Where are you at with your friendships? Have you been making them a priority? Is social rest missing in your life? I know the heartache of being lonely. I know how difficult it can feel to reach out. I know the effort it takes to be the one to organise something regular. I also know the benefits. What is one thing you could do this week to prioritise a friendship and invest in it?

This post is inspired by the Create: Summer challenge started by Amanda Viviers.

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