Today had been tracking along with a few unexpected mishaps but nothing hugely wrong. As the time to cook dinner approached, I suddenly felt overwhelmed with everything I hadn’t finished that I needed to have done by the next morning, my poor time management today and emotions from a difficult work call I had made earlier. I found myself frustrated at the sudden dips in the roller coaster of emotions. I had lost the peace and rest that I had been experiencing with God. How easily it had been shaken loose with only mild testing!
I had two options at this point- continue to dwell in these emotions and sense of overwhelm, likely taking it out on my daughter or put in some more healthy ways of processing or at least getting through to a time when processing was more possible. I chose to put on praise and worship music and dance with my daughter while prepping dinner. I chose to focus on the next task that needed doing rather than the entire list. I chose to refocus into the present with my daughter with a moderate level of success. I chose to allow myself to feel the sadness that came from having to exit a much prayed for student from the school I teach at but trust in the decision made with God and colleagues. I chose to let go of some of the ideas of what I had wanted to achieve in this day.
I would love to say that the tiredness, feelings of overwhelm and general emotion all dissipated with these steps. They certainly helped though. It is amazing what a slight change in perspective can achieve. Life will continue to drop the unexpected, both large and small, into my days. I will choose to deal with these by going to God, changing my perspective and giving myself grace (or at least I am working on making those choices). Maybe one day the little things won’t have the ability to shake me as I am more grounded and established in the love of God.